Click Here for “Fig Leaf Psychology”

For a period of my life I woke up each morning with terror raging in my chest. It was a spiritual issue. Having recently decided to change my life course and serve the God of all righteousness, I lived in fear of being overtaken by the [...]]]>

Click Here for “Fig Leaf Psychology”

For a period of my life I woke up each morning with terror raging in my chest. It was a spiritual issue. Having recently decided to change my life course and serve the God of all righteousness, I lived in fear of being overtaken by the dogs of past temptation as they incessantly nipped at my heels.

I recall how each morning, as I began to poke out of REM sleep, I felt this nameless terror even before I remembered who I was. Gradually emerging to full consciousness, I recalled the demands of God’s Law and my own pathetic, stomach-turning weakness. I groaned within, fearful of failure.

Somewhere deep in the layers of my psyche I found a solution. Actually, yogis, monks, and fasting saints of past ages discovered it first. I would starve myself. Although never reaching the rational, verbal level, my reasoning connected starvation with the shutting down of superfluous systems. When the body starves, it says, “Anything extra must go.” Sex drive dies, strong emotion fades, and personality flattens into a hollow-eyed waif.

Finally I’d found a way to avoid sexual sin and anger. Now I could be quiet and submissive, a good girl, Bible in hand, halo on head. I’d starve the flesh. Literally.

My body melted away to 95 pounds on my medium-tall (5’ 6”) frame. My wrists and calves thinned to skeleton-like, my cheekbones formed concave pockets underneath. Shedding hair floated down when I brushed. One by one people approached me with, “Are you eating enough?” “I’m concerned about your health,” and, “I’m praying for you.”

The anorexia clung to me for three years. While I recommend that people work out their mental health problems before marriage, I have to admit that I didn’t. But marriage really helped stabilize me. Michael Schwirzer loved me unconditionally. I wasn’t alone anymore. I could trust that love and eat. I could rest in the reality that I was accepted and valued, no matter what.

Thirty years later, I help people like me. I’m convinced that our baseline state is one of self-fixing. The shame that clouded us in Eden clings to us today. Like Adam and Eve and their fig leaves, we desperately try to cover ourselves, only to make ourselves worse. Our fig leaves are as varied as our personalities, but at their core they’re all attempts to self-fix apart from God.

“All our righteousnesses are like filthy rags,” Isaiah said, “We all fade as a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away,” Isaiah 64:6.

Are you trying to cover your sin with a garment of your own devising? Or are you trying to medicate away the pain of shame and guilt with drugs of your own concoction? Been there, done that. But now I’m learning to rest in the righteousness of Jesus. I’m accepted in Him, loved by God and good enough because of His goodness. “We who have believed enter that rest,” Hebrews 4:3. I invite you to do the same. Will you? And will you say so? Click here and share your own story.

Through a ministry called CRIStalks I recorded a spoken word video last month on this very topic. Check it out and let me know what you think. Click here.

This month’s travels:

May 5- Mental health workshop, Lansdale, PA

May 6- Smart Supper banquet, Philadelphia, PA

May 11-13- Finding Peace seminar, Owasso, MI

May 19- Sermon on human sexuality, Philadelphia, PA

May 20- Bible study, Schwirzer home, Philadelphia, PA

May 30- June 1- Gentry, AR campmeeting

Social justice, human rights, victim advocacy—these are all the rage today. For instance, filmmaker Jason Russell’s viral Kony 2012 has received over 100 million views. I was one of them. Watching it, I felt outrage, compassion, and a call to noble action. Will the film have its intended effect of helping secure the [...]]]> Kony 2012

Social justice, human rights, victim advocacy—these are all the rage today. For instance, filmmaker Jason Russell’s viral Kony 2012 has received over 100 million views. I was one of them. Watching it, I felt outrage, compassion, and a call to noble action. Will the film have its intended effect of helping secure the arrest of war criminal Joseph Kony? We’ll know in December, the deadline set by the “Stop Kony” campaign.

It’s good to be concerned about injustice. We should all do something to right the countless wrongs of a deranged world. I don’t doubt that the video has inspired some to action. But I wonder if for most it has produced this less remarkable result: a rush of good feelings. Speaking for myself, I felt my inner hero flex its biceps as I watched. I became an instant, armchair victim advocate. For just that moment, I felt reassured that my conscience and compassion were in good working order. And that felt very nice.

But indulge me as I self-observe: When I don my superman’s cape of moral outrage, the ego lift feels as if I can leap small buildings in a single bound. But ego lifts dissipate quickly; I eventually crash into a state of outrage fatigue. Here’s what I’m thinking: Wouldn’t it be tragic if human rights became another spectator sport? If we went online to get the stats on sex trafficking, domestic violence, or civilian death, then after ranting and panting for a few minutes, settled into complacency? After all, an atrocity over the ocean, tangled in a web of retaliatory attacks and political confusion, is really very inaccessible. Throwing money at the problem has been proven ineffective, even destructive. If I care much about things about which I can do little, I frustrate myself into not caring, even while priding myself on my caring. This sounds to me like a formula for paralysis.

I want to propose a solution. Start small. Start with the victim under your nose, in your families, churches, and communities. To invest in, for instance, a campaign against sex trafficking while ignoring cases of sexual abuse within our own sphere reveals serious inconsistency. I propose that instead of ignoring reports of victimization, we show an active interest in the cases. I propose we listen to the story and take cautious but appropriate action.

Okay, I’m showing my colors here. One of my pet peeves is sexual abuse. And my pet pet peeve is the kind of sexual abuse that happens in churches. I’ve heard so many stories that they’ve strung together into a sad song that plays endlessly in my head. But that song keeps me dancing toward the goal of ending abuse as far as my influence extends. And I’m recommending the same to you. Work with me to end abuse by advocating for the victims in your own world.

A few objections present themselves:

“They might be lying.” Yes, but the stats are on their side. Research has consistently shown false allegations of child sexual abuse to be rare; some sources say one percent. The motive is on their side, too. Coming forth on victimization is almost always socially awkward, humiliating and frightening, creating a disincentive for lying. On the other hand, perpetrators have a strong incentive for lying, as they preserve their careers, reputations and relationships. In a recent conversation someone said to me, “It’s ____’s word against the _____’s word!” True. So then believe the alleged perpetrator? This is bias. Why the bias? Perpetrators are typically charming, and often powerful, charismatic and well-respected. Apprehending them can present a great inconvenience. But ignoring the victim is typically easy. So here’s what I propose: Rather than disbelieve the alleged victim and risk re-traumatizing him or her, tentatively believe them and risk being lied to. There’s a risk either way, but a 99 percent greater one in disbelieving the victim. Then go about gathering proof. No one should be convicted without proof.

“That kind of thing doesn’t happen here.” General sexual abuse stats shock: 17% of males and 28% of females suffer sexual abuse in their lifetimes. Incest, the worst kind of sexual abuse, hovers around 10%, with females at 20%. And the well-documented problem of clergy abuse in the Catholic Church shouldn’t lead us to think the problem stays there: Figures released to the Associated Press in 2007 revealed that there are more sexual abuse cases in the Protestant churches than in the Catholic Church. That kind of thing does happen here.

“It’s going to ruin our family (church, community).” Actually, sexual abuse hotlines, counseling, and shelter programs have a positive effect on communities. A recent peak for sexual abuse allegations in churches came in 1994; it has significantly dropped since because of prevention and advocacy program implementation. Yes, the truth may shake things up, but the long-term health of your family, church or community will improve when you purge out the festering wounds of secret evil.

“It’s going to destroy (the alleged perpetrator)’s life.” Actually, treatment for perpetrators of abuse has a high success rate. The best thing you can do for the perpetrator is bring him or her to whatever justice is necessary and encourage treatment. The worst thing you can do is ignore his or her problem. The anaerobic bacteria of sin thrives in dark places, but withers in the light of disclosure.

“I don’t know what to do!” Let me help with that. First, listen to the victim. Document their story. Ask them to collect any evidences they may have, if they exist. If appropriate, seek medical care to ascertain physical damage and secure treatment. Find counseling for the victim to work through emotional problems related to the abuse. A free resource for processing a crisis can be found at www.crisischat.org. To get more detailed help, call one of the many crisis hotlines such as:

1-888-PREVENT (1-888-773-8368) Stop It Now

1-800-656-HOPE Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)

Information about each state’s requirements for abuse reporting can be found at www.childwelfare.cov; or you can call the US National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453.

The Hope of Survivors helps victims of clergy abuse. Go to www.thehopeofsurvivors.com

“Learn to do good; seek justice, correct oppression; bring justice to the fatherless, plead the widow’s cause,” Is. 1:17. “Do justice and righteousness, and deliver from the hand of the oppressor him who has been robbed,” Jeremiah 22:3. “A righteous man knows the rights of the poor; a wicked man does not understand such knowledge,” Proverbs 29:7.

Please join with me in advocating for victims today.

Touring schedule for April:

April 8- Women’s Prayer Breakfast, Long Island, NY

April 21- Concert, Melbourne, FL

April 27-29- Greater NY Women’s Retreat, Lancaster, PA

At the end of each month I “do finances,” juggling expenses and income for a home, a rental property, and a non-profit ministry. “Doing finances” takes a few hours and invariably raises my blood pressure enough for me to sense the pumping adrenals and constricting arteries. If [...]]]>

A poet at the Philadelphia Art Center

At the end of each month I “do finances,” juggling expenses and income for a home, a rental property, and a non-profit ministry. “Doing finances” takes a few hours and invariably raises my blood pressure enough for me to sense the pumping adrenals and constricting arteries. If I ever have a heart attack, it will be when I’m “doing finances.” They’ll find me, pencil in hand, ledger like a flat pillow under my head, clutching my chest and clenching my teeth, finger pointing to some bounced check fee or exorbitant invoice total.

Hopefully this won’t happen. God wants me to learn to trust Him. Oddly, He often facilitates this by increasing the pressure.

This month as I scanned the online bank statement for my non-profit I noticed a charge from my merchant services company. I use this company to run credit card charges for services and products. Typically their monthly charge is about 25 dollars. This month it was nearly 10 thousand, as in $10,000.00, $10k, or ten thousand dollars. Staring at that figure evoked vague memories of some suspicious notifications that led me to several strange conversations with company reps about my account being hacked. I thought I’d taken care of the problem and that the company would appropriately take responsibility for the hacking and fees incurred. The numbers in front of me proved they hadn’t. A string of calls to the company turned into a house of terrors. Several cold, indifferent representatives variously claimed that, “You’re imagining it,” or when that one hung up on me, “You’ll have to ‘absorb’ it.”

“This is outrageous!” I cried. “Let me speak to your supervisor immediately!”

“My supervisor will say the same thing. This kind of thing happens.”

“This is a significant portion of my yearly income!” I pled. “I’m a small, non-profit company with very limited resources!”

Silence. Indifference. Coldness.

I hung up and threw myself on the floor. “Dear God,” I choked, “It’s your money. I hate to see it trickle into Satan’s hairy hands, but it’s your game now.”

I fully recognized a call to surrender. If an artist painted the scene, I would be in the foreground, laptop casting a blue, forlorn glow into tear-reddened eyes. Looming in the background, stooping to scoop me up, arms poised to embrace, soft robe lapping around my hunched shoulders, would be Jesus.

A few hours later I dried my tears, sniffed, and exchanged emails with the leader of a ministry that finances non-profits. She offered to give me a chance to raise money for a special project of my own non-profit at a conference this weekend. The special project involves helping young people produce music and other media. I work and worship with several brilliantly talented college-age kids, who create media pieces such as this one http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UPLeqVycQiE&feature=youtu.be which has received over 7000 hits. I had been praying for funding for the project, only to despair of ever raising it when the theft occurred.

But now Denise Hayden from ASI was telling me I could try to raise some money this weekend. The amount? Ten thousand, just what I lost.

Now, I’m not a signs-and-wonders kind of girl. My miracles most often appear in the heart realm, in the form of softened attitudes, renewed bonds, and spiritual awakenings. Rarely do I tell sensational stories of the check appearing the day the rent was due, or the car miraculously making it fifty miles to the gas station on fumes. God deals with me differently. Most often, He makes me work for my rent money and allows my car to putter out on lonely highways. But now and again he reminds me that He rules, not just spirits, but buildings, banks, companies, cities, cars, solids, liquids, gases, molecules, atoms and yes, finances.

10k theft, 10k donation. That bore the signature of God.

The next day I found a human being at the company. She handled the situation with competence and compassion. I have a letter from her on company letterhead stating that a check will come, covering the full amount of the stolen money. A high-level rep called with humblest apologies for the treatment I received and unsuccessfully tried to keep my business.

10k returned.

But do you see what God did? He let this child scream in terror at the devil’s theft, only to quiet me with a reminder that He could give it all back and more. And He did this to turn my eyes to Him, something that to Him is worth a fortune. I believe in an interactive, intervenient, interposing God, don’t you? He engages us as we build our little sandbox castles in this world, ever calling us to a better world. I think I’ll take Him up on it. So should you. And you should also pray that the 10k donation comes in!

Jennifer’s travels:

March 10- Columbia Union ASI, Vienna, VA

March 24- Women’s Retreat, Harrisburg, PA

March 31- CRIStalks, Boston, MA

Would you like to book an event? Here’s a promo for “Finding Peace,” a seminar based on 13 Weeks to Peace: Allowing Jesus to Heal your Mind and Heart.

Click here -> 2012 by Lee G and Delon

In the year twenty-twelve The end might come And if it does, what will be your outcome?

My friends Lee and Delon produced this recording for New Year’s Eve and have been passing it around the web.

They know that the events of the end [...]]]>

Click here -> 2012 by Lee G and Delon

In the year twenty-twelve
The end might come
And if it does, what will be your outcome?

My friends Lee and Delon produced this recording for New Year’s Eve and have been passing it around the web.

They know that the events of the end times will take longer than one year to unfold. But they ask a solemn and pertinent question—what would be our outcome if time ended this year?

Answer that and post it on my blog!

There are at least five 2012 end of the world myths. The end of the Mayan calendar means the end of time; breakaway continents will destroy civilization; galactic alignments will destroy earth; planet ex will collide with earth; solar storms will destroy the planet. There are many more . . .

Why do these theories multiply like viruses? A simple google search for “2012” and “the end of the world” yields 300,000 hits. A youtube search brings up 65,000 videos warning of the end in 2012. Apocalyptic ideas strike an emotional vagus nerve. Global disaster presents a nearly universal fear. The fragility of life, the delicate balance of the ecosystem, the vulnerability of society’s infrastructure, make our existence nothing short of miraculous, and we know it.
I propose that for every false alarm there’s a true threat. Phobias to snakes and spiders stem back to actual threats to venomous animals. Paranormal paranoia exaggerates and distorts a healthy fear of supernatural evil. Obsessive handwashing began with the actual danger of infection.

End of the world fear has been placed in our hearts by a God who wants us to be ready for it.

Are you?

The second coming of Jesus Christ will be literal, personal, visible and worldwide. He will raise His dead followers with perfect bodies. His living followers He will change in the time it takes to wink. Tragically, the brightness of His coming will destroy the unbelieving. The Bible relates these things without apology. The shout that would normally be rude becomes kind when the house is on fire. The Bible says these things boldly because we need to know them.

The end will come, let’s prepare.

Almost all biblical prophecies have met their fulfillment. Jesus tells us to be ready at all times.

Are you?

What will be your outcome?

For more study, see Titus 2:13; Heb. 9:28; John 14:1-3; Acts 1:9-11; Matt. 24:14; Rev. 1:7; Matt. 24:43, 44; 1 Thess. 4:13-18; 1 Cor. 15:51-54; 2 Thess. 1:7-10; 2:8; Rev. 14:14-20; 19:11-21; Matt. 24; Mark 13; Luke 21; 2 Tim. 3:1-5; 1 Thess. 5:1-6.

For a week in August the Montana mountains took my breath away, but the time came to leave paradise. The flight out of Bozeman connected in Salt Lake City, home of the Latter Day Saints. As I plopped into my seat, a very [...]]]>

Site of the New LDS Temple in Philadelphia

For a week in August the Montana mountains took my breath away, but the time came to leave paradise. The flight out of Bozeman connected in Salt Lake City, home of the Latter Day Saints. As I plopped into my seat, a very friendly man struck up a conversation. Thirty five-ish and baseball capped, he looked like everyday Joe; but minutes into our conversation I learned he wasn’t. “I’m flying to Philadelphia to begin plans to construct the Mormon Temple. It’ll be right across from Logan Square,” he said as if talking about putting in a flower garden. It turned out John Kemp was one of the two directors of a building project that would entail 1000 workers of various kinds, years of effort, and millions of a certain granite brick which he happily lugged out of his backpack and handed me, saying, “Here’s a sample. Isn’t it beautiful?”

I felt swept into the grand current of history-in-the-making. Curious, I asked, “How much will this temple cost?”

Smiling, John said, “Yep.”

He couldn’t tell me.

The Mormons regard their temples with great reverence. Certain Bible passages inspire them to pour their considerable collective fortunes into grand edifices, numbering well over 100 around the world. I’m sure the story of Solomon’s temple inspires them—it was “the most magnificent building which the world ever saw,” at over 150,000 square feet and 20 stories. God Himself commanded the building of a jaw-dropping, awe-inspiring house of worship.

But an interesting lesson emerges later in the story. In spite of the glory of Solomon’s temple, the people strayed from God. This ultimately led Nebuchadnezzar to demolish the city. Years, later, the prophet Haggai urged the people to rebuild. The second temple paled in comparison to the grandeur of the first, yet God said, “The latter glory of this house will be greater than the former . . . and in this place I shall give peace,” (Haggai 2:9). In what way did the smaller, poorer, second temple outstrip the first in glory? It would give “peace.” It’s as if God was saying, “The grandeur of Solomon’s temple didn’t save you from national ruin. Now I want to teach you about real glory!”

Buildings can’t give peace. In fact, architectural competition between nations has often brought war. Some say that the World Trade Towers symbolized the prosperity of the U.S., provoking the attack of September 11, 2001. Architectural greatness conveys power, but not necessarily love or good will.

People, however, can bring peace if their hearts are filled with the glory of God—His character. How many churches, grand or humble, have become dens of iniquity as inevitable conflicts tangled into cutthroat wars? How often have religious buildings housed factions that “bite and devour one another,” (Galatians 5:15)? Yet at times a godly man or woman have played the “peacemaker” and miraculously persuaded the warring factions to work and live in harmony.

The New Testament presents a powerful concept: The temple of God, the place where He shines forth, the house of His Shekinah, is the community of believers. “Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit lives in you?” (1 Corinthians 3:16, NIV). If His Spirit fills each believer, it fills the “temple” of the corporate body more so. If the purpose of Solomon’s temple was to glorify God, wouldn’t Jesus’ temple—his community of believers on earth—glorify Him even more?

Does the world need finer buildings? Perhaps. But it much more desperately needs love, peace, and harmony. I know I sound like a hippie; perhaps in some respects I am. But think about it. Jesus could come again, make the earth new, and give us all new buildings, but if our characters still reek of selfishness, if our communities still rankle with strife, it won’t be long before angry graffiti covers the granite walls—granite walls which will ultimately turn to powder in the face of hateful weapons of mass destruction.
I’ll take a look at the Mormon Temple across from Logan Square in a few years’ time. Maybe I’ll see the friendly John Kemp again. His gleaming granite handiwork will rise before me, a man-made, breathtaking mountain. Thousands will look on in similar awe. But better yet, one day God’s people will actually love each other as Jesus first loved them. Their community will become the grandest temple of all time. Then Jesus’ prayer will be answered: “That all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me,” John 17:21.

Now, that will be breathtaking.

Normally I like to dwell on the positive and be upbeat, constructive, and solution-focused. Just for now, though, I’m going to list seven deadly psychological sins that, if left to themselves, will undo all the good that your better habits may be accomplishing [...]]]>

White water rafting (that's me with the shades) . . .

Normally I like to dwell on the positive and be upbeat, constructive, and solution-focused. Just for now, though, I’m going to list seven deadly psychological sins that, if left to themselves, will undo all the good that your better habits may be accomplishing in your life. Solomon said, “Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that are ruining the vineyards, while our vineyards are in blossom,” (Song of Solomon, 2:15). The list below will give you a chance to ask the Holy Spirit to “catch” your personal “foxes” for you. Pray Psalm 139: 23 and 24, “Search me, oh God, and know my heart, try me and know my anxious thoughts; and see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”

Here they are, the seven deadly psychological sins:

1. Criticism- Humans tend to be problem-focused. This trait often takes the form of pick, pick, picking (or severely gouging!) other people. Criticism raises us up as we drag others down—but the lift doesn’t last. We become junkies who need stronger and stronger criticism “fixes” to support an insatiable, misaligned ego.

Replace criticism with affirmation. I tell critical people to go on a criticism fast in which they can’t criticize anyone or anything (including themselves!) for three weeks. Thereafter when they wish to criticize they must create an “affirmation sandwich” in which they affirm before criticizing, then follow the critique with another affirmation. Soon they develop a taste for affirmation and decide to do it more often.

2. Complaining- Closely related to criticism, complaining entails a lifestyle of pointing out and dwelling upon the negative, unfortunate, and difficult to the exclusion of the positive and pleasant. At the foundation of this grumbling lifestyle lies a sense of entitlement in which we believe that the world, God, or society owe us a good time.

Replace complaining with gratitude. Gratitude flows from a heart that understands its unworthiness, in the face of which all good things become gifts rather than entitlements. It is helpful to think of three things for which one is grateful before going to sleep at night, and three more upon arising in the morning. A habit of this will almost always result in a complete cure.

3. Self-pity- “Playing the victim” or feeling sorry for oneself actually deepens pain and prevents healing of emotional scars. The horrible reality of victimization can be prolonged when we dwell on it unnecessarily. In so doing we remain the victim, reinforcing powerless feelings.

Replace self-pity with responsibility-taking. I like to say, “It’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility,” meaning that you have a choice as to how you react to suffering and misfortune. Often dramatic growth and freedom comes when people finally transition from victim mode into responsibility-taking mode. You may begin by listing five things you can do to improve your situation, then asking a friend or other accountability partner to help you act upon them.

4. Worry- In psychology parlance, we call this “hypervigilance.” The dangerous world in which we live presents many threats to our well-being. Our fear mechanism comes in handy when faced with these threats; the adrenaline helps us fight or fly out of danger. All well and good. But when we react to the possibility of danger, rather than actual danger, we carry the fear into our every day experience and the fear itself becomes a threat. More than this, it does absolutely nothing to actually protect us—in fact it often serves as a self-fulfilling prophecy that brings about the very event so dreaded! Ellen White said, “Worry is blind and cannot discern the future,” The Desire of Ages, 330. We worry because we think we’re protecting ourselves, but we aren’t.

Replace worry with trust. God promises that, “He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it,” 1 Corinthians 10:13. As we walk forward in faith and trust, we refute our own worst imaginings. You may want to begin by confining your worrying to one hour a day and gradually reduce the amount of time to zero.

5. Avoidance- So, so, many know what they should do but avoid it as if subjecting themselves to anything unpleasant or even just boring would cause an immediate, irreversible psychological meltdown. Often people say, “I’m not motivated to _______ (exercise, talk to that person, read the Bible, etc.)! But they are motivated—to avoid doing those things.

Replace avoidance with action. Exercise your God-given will. The amazing thing about the will is that it moves independent of inclination. In other words, we can choose to do the opposite of what we feel inclined to do. “Opposite action” is used in dialectical behavioral therapy to redirect a weak or perverted will found in such conditions as borderline personality disorder. It involves choosing to move in the opposite direction of inclination. To retrain your will, do three beneficial things per day that you’re disinclined to do. Start small—baby steps count!

6. Emotionalism- Many, especially those of a sensitive, passionate nature, live by their emotions. One aspect of this is emotional reasoning—the belief that if one feels something to be true, it must be true. Many thus feel their way into dangerous relationships and situations, then reap the bitter harvest. They then believe the ensuing feelings of doom and despair and lose hope. Our feelings are like children—precious, but not capable of driving the car.

Replace emotionalism with reason. Reason doesn’t make a person into Dr. Spock or the Tin Man, by the way. Reason actually makes a person more capable of deep emotion. Basing one’s choices on timeless life principles provides an anchor that enables us to stay safe in the deepest waters of the churning sea of life. When we have such an anchor, we needn’t hug the shore out of fear of shipwreck. I use cognitive behavioral therapy to help people learn to use their reasoning powers with excellent results.

7. Bitterness- Often very painful chapters of life threaten to consume us. Moving on can be difficult and slow even for the most forgiving. But some gain satisfaction in rehearsing the hurtful events repeatedly, even attempting to gain sympathizers and turn others against one’s enemy. Truly hurtful people should be exposed so as to spare others; and the pain of abuse must be processed. But take care not to overprocess the pain.

Replace bitterness with forgiveness. Hebrews 12:15 says that when a person becomes bitter, they “fail of the grace of God.” Grace is unmerited favor, undeserved forgiveness freely bestowed. Jesus forgave His enemies, and so can we. No, we don’t trust them, excuse them, or turn a blind eye to wrong done. Forgiveness is an intelligent choice to release from punishment because we ourselves have been released, and a freeing, joyful alternative to the tangled root of bitterness.

You may want to order a copy of my latest book, Thirteen Weeks to Peace, or go to my counseling website at www.jenniferschwirzer.com and download some worksheets for free, such as:
Exercise Program for the Will
F.A.R. Thought Control
Forgiveness Worksheet

Schedule for September:
Sept. 17- Worcester, MA
Sept. 24- Woodbury, NJ (tent.)
Oct. 1- Oswego, NY

They call me Simon the Pharisee. “Simon” means “hearing.” In accordance with my name, I heard the call of Jesus and became a disciple after He healed me of leprosy. Candidly, the physical disease symbolized the deeper spiritual disease from which Jesus also delivered me. I was guilty of clergy sexual [...]]]>

Simon's Feast

They call me Simon the Pharisee. “Simon” means “hearing.” In accordance with my name, I heard the call of Jesus and became a disciple after He healed me of leprosy. Candidly, the physical disease symbolized the deeper spiritual disease from which Jesus also delivered me. I was guilty of clergy sexual abuse, a practice that fed on my Phariseeism like crustaceans feed on sewage.

August 1 was Clergy Sexual Abuse Awareness and Prevention Day. I thought it would be appropriate to honor that day by telling my story. Now a recovered offender, I can pinpoint how elements of my religious experience led to the double life I lived. Here they are:

Pride- We Pharisees warded off the encroachments of Greek culture, which threatened to rob the Jews of their identity. Because of this, the people thought of us as heroes, holier and better than the common man; in fact, the name “Pharisee” means “separated.” Consequently, we became very puffed up in our own conceits. Human praise affects the brain similarly to an opiate, so when the praise died down we went in search of another fix: another contrived rule to impose, another righteous ritual to perform, another innocent woman to deflower.

Legalism- We instilled in ourselves and our followers the belief that we could save ourselves through compliance with the law. Since no one can obey in their own strength, we then lowered God’s standard to fit human limitations. This is how legalism teamed up with disobedience and produced a scenario where we strained at gnats and swallowed camels. And molested women. And then tried to have them stoned.

Hypocrisy- High standards minus grace equals hypocrisy. Graceless religious leaders, pressured to be “good,” can only manufacture an appearance of holiness and conceal their true, unconverted selves. Such double-living forces carnality into hiding, where it can flourish like anaerobic bacteria. We Pharisees helped each other hide, too. When one would get caught perpetrating, we’d hush up the matter and shuttle him off to another district.

My best-known victim was my niece Mary Magdalene. Just a child when I met her, she bloomed into a stunning beauty before my eyes. She called it an “affair,” and indeed it felt that way to her. But I know now it was abuse, in spite of her spellbound consent. Specifically, my abuse of Mary qualified as incestuous, religious, power rape, because I was a relative, a clergyman, and an authority figure. It disgusts me to admit it, but I must.

At my house party—the feast to celebrate my healing from leprosy—I still didn’t “get it.” I thought evil of Mary as she poured out her soul in gratitude. Jesus saw the spite on my face and told me a parable that revealed His knowledge of my guilt. Two debtors. One ten times more guilty. Both forgiven. Which one should love him the more? I read Him perfectly: “Stop lording it over her. You’re the one who led her into sin! You should be ten times more grateful, because you’re ten times more guilty.” He knows! I panicked, breaking into a sweat. How could He know and yet spare me? Could it be that He was Isaiah’s prophetic sin-bearer after all?

The weeks after my feast found me paralyzed, as one struck by lightening. Remorse crippled my energies and sickened me to earthly things. At last I turned fully to Jesus for forgiveness and cleansing. I realized I had no reason to live except to testify of God’s mercy.

In the place of pride, Jesus gave me contrition. Through the parable, Jesus confronted my sin discretely. The goodness of God in not publicly rebuking me, even when I wanted a public rebuke for my victim, led me to repentance.

In the place of legalism, He gave me the gospel. The message of Christ’s righteousness supplanted my own self-righteousness, and ultimately led to obedience to all the commandments of God, including the command to be sexually pure. Jesus forgave my sin and cleansed me from all unrighteousness. Then He showed me how to walk without falling. I noticed that Jesus never lusted simply because He loved so much. Each woman to Him was a soul for whom He would die in agony. He cherished them far too much to ever objectify them.

In the place of hypocrisy, He gave me honesty. I learned to put off pretension, admitting my weakness and humanity. I learned to confess my faults to trusted accountability partners and then seek the Lord with them for complete restoration.

If a Simon comes into your life, help him out by doing what he wants least. Tell the truth. It’s not “tattle-tailing” to reveal that a clergyman has taken advantage of a member of the flock. Do as Mary did and tell Jesus what happened; then share it with trusted counselors and friends. Do all you can to stop the abuse; thus you’ll be sparing future victims. Lying to protect another is still lying. Be tactfully, discreetly honest. You may lose all your friends for a time; the Pharisees may hate you. But you’ll have the infinitely more valuable blessing of a clear conscience. Remember that Jesus said, “Leave her alone.” That same Jesus will defend you. And perhaps your honesty will set a precedent that a Pharisee like I can follow. Remember, Jesus died for us too. And His grace can heal even the spiritual leprosy of clergy sexual abuse. As one writer noted about me: “The proud Pharisee became a lowly, self-sacrificing disciple.”

You can prevent clergy sexual abuse! For more information, go to thehopeofsurvivors.com.

All serious-minded people experience, at some point in their lives, something like the following: After a nice social event—perhaps a dinner with guests—a discussion begins. The sad state of the world and current events provide common ground at first. Before long, someone begins to speak more—much more—than anyone else. The one-time social visit turns [...]]]>

All serious-minded people experience, at some point in their lives, something like the following: After a nice social event—perhaps a dinner with guests—a discussion begins. The sad state of the world and current events provide common ground at first. Before long, someone begins to speak more—much more—than anyone else. The one-time social visit turns into a monologue before an unwitting audience. It becomes clear that this person has done his or her share of reading on conspiracy theories, and so has “privileged” data others didn’t learn in school. The monologuer . . . monologues. Some slouch back, eyes glazed over; others leave the room; still others sit on the edge of their chairs, visions of 911, Princess Diana or JFK dancing in their heads.

Conspiracy theories supposedly expose the dark deeds and covert alliances of governments, secret societies and prominent individuals. One feels very powerful in the role of “knowing.” But the knowing can degenerate into an unhealthy fascination with the mystery of iniquity leaving some so consumed with evil that they lose sight of the Savior. We don’t want to be them.

Conspiracy theorists call those who object “naïve.” And truthfully, many live in a La La Land of gullibility, spouting off about Newage-y love, peace, and Oprah, while the forces of evil steal a march on the innocent. We don’t want to be them, either.
How do we exercise good discernment in spotting and warning against true evil without becoming obsessed and imbalanced in the process? I propose that we proclaim prophetic facts rather than propagate conspiracy theories.

Ephesians 5:11-13 provides some insightful guidance:
“And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret. But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light, for whatever makes manifest is light.”

Conspiracy theorists love the first verse, because it tells us to “expose” the “unfruitful works of darkness.” But they fail to interpret it in context—the next verse warns against speaking of things “done by them in secret.” In other words, if it’s secret, we have no business delving into it. It’s not our calling as followers of Jesus to act as devil detectives. God has no secret police. He is Truth and Light.

Here’s an essential point: It’s not that we rule out the possibility that Lee Harvey Oswald didn’t act alone, that Princess Diana was killed on purpose, that the government was involved in 911, or that the Apollo moon landing never happened. The bulwark of evil in this world is beyond our imaginings. Additionally, as humans, our senses and information-processing skills are finite. The news media and history books may be utterly deceiving us. But has God called us to solve these mysteries? And if we find a book or a document that reveals a different story than that presented by the media, how do we know that story is true? How do we know that the author of that book or document doesn’t have a secret agenda of his own, even more diabolical than the one he is supposedly exposing? As the dark waters of one conspiracy leading to another fold around us, our souls drown for want of the pure air of heaven.

The passage goes on to clarify how evil is properly exposed: It is “made manifest by the light.” Biblical prophecy shines a spotlight on world events. Like the little boy in The Emperor’s New Clothes telling the deluded king “You’re not wearing any clothes!” students of prophecy state the obvious in the face of mass denial. God leads His wise-but-innocent children to identify evil as it fulfills prophecy. Far from being patsies, Pollyannas, and dupes, God’s messengers expose the evil deeds that truly matter, at the time God schedules, with the Bible in one hand and the New York Times in the other.

Conspiracy theories are wrong on two counts: Conspiracies and theories. God hasn’t called us to expose the devil’s conspiracies, but his flagrances. We don’t do it with theories, but with facts. Prophecies find their anchor in the Word of God. Conspiracy theories release that anchor and plunge us headlong into the dark waters of the devil. What’s your preference in these difficult times?

By the way, the photo is me on Mt. Rainier, rejoicing that this is my Father’s world.

This week I’ve feasted my heart on a study of Jesus’ relationships with women. Amazing things happened inside of me. Passion rekindled. Apathy disappeared. My desire to follow Him to the ends of the earth revived. Oh, how I love Jesus!

Here’s what I learned: Jesus respected women. Often we emphasize respect of men. [...]]]>

This week I’ve feasted my heart on a study of Jesus’ relationships with women. Amazing things happened inside of me. Passion rekindled. Apathy disappeared. My desire to follow Him to the ends of the earth revived. Oh, how I love Jesus!

Here’s what I learned: Jesus respected women. Often we emphasize respect of men. I sometimes get the impression that women don’t really need respect; that they function similarly to small kittens, thriving best when well-cuddled. Yet the thing that grabs me about Jesus’ treatment of women, the thing that ultimately endears me to Him, is not so much His tender affection for women—although that’s plain and precious. It’s the respect factor. And Jesus demonstrated this respect in the midst of mass, general, persistent, pervasive and extreme societal and cultural disrespect. His respect translates to me today into the most exalted and holy kind of love I’ve ever known.

Probably no category of people has, over the eons of time, suffered more disrespect than women. Even today, one in three women walking this earth have been either raped, beaten or coerced into sex. Women are the primary victims of sex trafficking, domestic violence, rape and sexual abuse. Women comprise half the population, but they do two-thirds of the world’s work and get one-tenth of the world’s pay. Women are at an educational, political and financial disadvantage globally.
I’d call this disrespect, wouldn’t you?

Westerners have a hard time grasping the full impact of these things because our society enjoys more equality. Stepping outside of our safe little world, though, the facts I’ve just cited hit us between the eyes—female genital mutilation in Africa, bride burning in India, sex slavery in Thailand—the list goes on and on. Similarly, Jesus lived at a time when the status of women rested at a low ebb. Even within Israel, pagan attitudes warped the Torah’s protective boundaries into severe limitations on a woman’s freedom and dignity, until “They had become second-class Jews, excluded from the worship and teaching of God, with status scarcely above that of slaves.”[i]

Now, behold Jesus in his brief public career. He works His first miracle at a wedding, essentially at His mother’s request. Soon after He holds a very personal conversation with a foreign woman at Jacob’s well (John 4:7-42). He talks similarly to a Canaanite woman, healing her daughter (Matthew 15:22-28). He speaks against divorce, a practice which harms chiefly women at that time (Mark 10:11-12). He travels with women supporters (Luke 8:1-3) Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Susanna and “many others.” He defends Mary Magdalene before His disciples (Luke 7:37-50). He teaches women students (Luke 10:38-42) when the rabbinical sentiment is, “Rather should the words of the Torah be burned than entrusted to a woman…Whoever teaches his daughter the Torah is like one who teaches her obscenity.”[ii] He befriends Lazarus, Mary and Martha. He uses the respectful term, “daughter of Abraham” (Luke 13:16), unheard of at that time. He dies and rises again, appearing first to Mary Magdalene (Mark 16:9).

Much of conservative Christianity wrings its hands over the encroachments of feminism upon modern society, upon the home, and upon the church. Yes, secular feminism (comprised of many schools of thought, all fighting with one another like Medusa’s snake heads) carries unbiblical baggage. But something troubles me; all the dire warnings against the evils of feminism have somehow drowned out concern for its evil counterpart—male chauvinism. Yet hasn’t male chauvinism, defined as the belief that “females are inferior to males and thus deserving of less than equal treatment or benefit”[iii] led historically and globally to untold horror, atrocity and violation of basic human rights? Won’t those following the Master follow Him in countering every such violation?

This June 11th, the North American Division of the Seventh-day Adventist Church will celebrate “Women’s Ministries Emphasis Day” (http://adventistwomensministries.org/). It will be a good time to reinforce our respect for womankind. I wonder if my conservative Christian brothers and sisters are brave enough to take a stand for the rights, education, salvation and upbuilding of women, even when this might align them, for a brief moment, with those of a more liberal persuasion.

If they do, they’ll remind me of Someone named Jesus.

Here’s what I’ll be up to this month:
June 4- Woodbury, NJ (11AM)
June 4- Lake Nelson, NJ (3PM and 7PM)
June 13-17- Campmeeting in Hamburg, PA
June 20-24- Campmeeting in Auburn, WA

Jennifer Jill SchwirzerJ

Visit me at
www.jenniferjill.org
www.jennpen.com
www.jenniferschwirzer.com
www.youtube.com/user/jenniferschwirzer